23 September 2009

Today I have a peace of mind after what I have written last night. What you would say ？ I guess you would say, “Hey, go and study la, not think so much.” I wish I could do so right now. Without mistaken, I think you have been there about 9 days already. How is your life there? Interesting？Exciting？ I wish we can have the chance to exchange our difference experience in pursuing our study at different place.
Do you still remember that I ever told you that I want to buy the digest reader? You can buy it at our hometown now without ordering or going far a miles to buy it.　I still can remember the scenes that you were holding the digest reader and sitting in the field during the practice of “sukan”. Everything is fresh in my mind.
I’m struggling whether I should try to have a relationship with the others or remain the same now. But, I remember what you said once. 'What you did, only will hurt yourselves and her." So, I have come out with my decisions already. That’s remaining as single and until I’ve forgot you. I do this mainly because I can’t forget you. We’ve never been together, but you’re so important to me. I thought I would recover from the sad. But, it seems like this would takes years time to heal. Of course, I can’t take this as the girls in the world are cruel or bad. I would try to judge them from another angle.

I’m at hostel now. When I look outside from my window, almost every window is closed. Only a few are opened, including mine. Do you know how much I miss you? I　truly understand that you can’t forgive me easily. As you said, it’s not enough to just say sorry or merely apologize without sincere.
Just now I surf through my facebook. I can’t see your account anymore. Is you close it? Due to me? Or because you further your study in other country? I sincerely hope that you close it not mainly because want to avoid me.
Every time I go back to home town or come back, I’ll pass through your grandparents’ house. Every time I ride my motor on the road, I’ll doubt the driver would you or your parents whenever I see a similar car. Then a sense of guilty will arise in my heart. Why? Because it recalls me that I’ve bullied you once. It recalls me that I had bullied a good girl like you once.


Anyway, hope your life there is colourful and less irritating without me. But, when you need a person to comfort you, I would be there. May you're blessed al the time.