A letter for my ex-best friend

How are you? Are you happy? Do you encounter any unhappy things in your life? Can I have a long chat with you without caring time and money that I have to pay? These are all my little heart wants to do most now. But, it’s hard for me to do so now or even forever.

Undeniable, I try to escape from your eyesight every time I saw you. May be you think that I’m childish and immature. I think you’re right. May be I would be brave enough to have an eye contact with you next time. I have a test to sit next week and after next week. How I wish that I can get an encouragement from you, even just a sentence of words such like good luck. Do you know all these things? I even reject to “add” you as my friend in facebook just afraid that I may say harsh words to you again and make myself less value in your eyes.

Every time when I pick my cell phone up I wish I have some friends like you can chat non-stop and who understand me very well and even my next step as well. I think because of you I have addicted to sms to somebody already. Sometimes when I try to do this to one of my new friends, they may doubt my intention. But, may be, I’m too lonely and intend to find someone to replace your place in my heart. I do not know what is in my mind now. I feel so so so lonely. I wish I could able to hold on in my journey without you. I remember what you said at that time “time is all I need to forget you once”. But, do you really think that a good girl such like you can be easily forgotten? It’s irreplaceable. Do you know that I have even dreamed that we can work together?

You may say serve me right. Don’t you? You may say that was me that broke our friendship. But, I would say that if I not do so, I would love you even much. Can you imagine what I intended to do at the time? Suicides, run away, begins crazy and immerse myself in the work. At least, I can temporarily forget you. Now, I totally realize that I can’t get you rid out of my mind. I always question myself why I always do things so impulsively。 I do regret everything that I did on you. If I was granted another chance to choose either to stay beside you or leave you, I would choose to stay beside you even thought just a normal friend. Of course, in a triangle relationship should have someone to be kicked out. I accept the fact now.

I had thousand of questions want to ask you once. But, for now, I think love and not love a person are no reasons required. I promise not matter what happen to you, as long as you ask for help from me. I will not turn you down.

Now, I wish you have a bright future Dr and control your temper as well to avoid any dispute between you and him.Ｉsincerely hope that you can live happier than I and always be.